I'm finally getting around to giving an update on our adoption process. I was very nervous when we found out that we were expecting again and thought that the adoption would be over. After talking to our adoption agency though we had a green light to keep moving forward (as quickly as possible now!). However, the agency that had been writing our homestudy informed us that they have a policy of not allowing two children to enter the home within 12 months of each other. It is in the "best interest" of both children after all. Really?!?!? I can agree that the ideal situation would be for an adopted child to have plenty of time to adjust before yet another child came along. But, is he really better off where he is?
Option 1: Come home to a family that loves him. Receive the medical care and nourishment that he needs right now. Be smothered with love from three extra little mommies. Plus, a little brother and sister to play with. And a new brother or sister to arrive a few months after he gets home in a household that is VERY used to the adjustment of a newborn and what that means.
Horrible situation according to the homestudy agency that knows what is in the best interest of children everywhere.
Option 2: Stay in the orphanage until another family chooses him. I don't know that I am allowed online to reveal what we know from his medical records, but lets just say I believe he would be healthier and progressing more if he were home in a family ASAP. The other problem with another family choosing to adopt him is that there are so many children that need a willing family and even if he comes home another child somewhere that would have had a family now does not. Someone still loses out.
Option 3: (If another family does not choose to adopt him.) Stay in the orphanage until our new addition is 1 year old (almost 2 years away). The problem with waiting 2 years is not only that he would miss out on therapy, miss out on bonding time and love, and have farther to catch up developmentally and physically. But, he is already 3 years old. In 2 years he is facing the institution. At 5 years old these "unwanted" children are put into an institution to live out the rest of their lives. From the statistics that we have heard those are not long lives. 80% of those children will die within their first year of entering an institution. The number may be as high as 95% for those with Down syndrome.
We decided in the beginning of this journey that we would keep moving forward until God told us to stop. Otherwise, from what we have heard from others adoption is a fight to the end! The enemy hates to see these little ones rescued, that is God's plan after all. So, after emailing back and forth with the homestudy agency telling them just why we think it is NOT in his best interest to put the adoption on hold we waited for their final answer about if they would go against their policy or not. We were expecting a straight "yes" or "no". What we got was a "no" with a "but". They decided that they would not go against their policy, but they would transfer (almost) all of our materials to another homestudy agency.
Here we are! Starting over. We have found another agency and we are trying to work FAST to make up for the time we are losing in having to do yet another homestudy visit, more background checks, more papers to fill out, more money....
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." James 1:2,3
Bring on the trials! We will keep going until God closes the door.
